An Esteban Tribute

I never realized that i still had xanga, thanks to my beloved brother who updates me on such things. There are other things that I have been reminded of for these past few months, that no matter where I go, my family never let's me down. I mean I've been sort of the trouble maker when I was a teenager, I will be the only one who gives my mum a headache, but through all that, she still loves me and pays for my bills, heehee just a few. Anyway, I was chatting with my family members early today, since they are just a few thousand miles away, msn saves our communication challenges and small things has changed, My sister is still my big and supportive sister, my mum will remain the caring mum and my dad the protective one. And there's JJ and Josh who never fails to make me laugh, even when I'm running low on everything, when jj strums his guitar, it's almost heaven for me. Kuya Mark, who by the way just graduated from Youth Counselling, hardly communicates with me, nevertheless, i miss him dearly.  Let's not forget the new additions to our family, Dom, kuya Stef and Aldwyn.

I love this family, I'd die for them, and now that I have a family of my own, it's not a surprise why I handle it so well. (yabang ba) It's because I really had an upbringing worth teaching to next generations. I know my family's not the smartest, most gorgeous, definitely not perfect family, but we stick together, from taking care of 2 really kulit younger brothers to 3 weddings in a span of 6 months. WOW! My husband doesn't have to say it, but I know he's proud to be a part of THE ESTEBAN CLAN. "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord".

I miss you all, I'll see you soon. Love you

7 months without any blog. Mann, time flies. Well there's a lot of things that can happen in 7 months you know, like: I JUST GOT MARRIED!

I can't really stay but okay. So far it's been a crazy and yet very fulfilling experience for me. As of now, I'm in the Philippines. Enjoying cheap delicious food not to mention my first taste of sisig. Please do not ask me what it is. Getting ready for a big celebration on January 9th. It's our wedding celebration and there's a 2nd ceremony too. if you're in canada and I know you and you're here that day. You're invited.

Can't stay long, you know how married people are......okay neither do I

So who ever said that life was easy anyway? Why did I believe them? Can I just vent please. I don't need your advice, I think I've had enough of that already. Life sucks for me right now, I know it's just a simple thing but big problems are small at first. "Cry me a river JOY" sheesh. Anyway, I'm so worried about the future. I don't know what it holds and I know Who does so I shouldn't worry right? Then why am I so worried? My brother's going back to school this month and I want to go back to school so bad, but I have other priorities aside from school like get married perhaps!! Why is this night so blue for me. It's the first time I've actually stayed up late to spend time with myself and then nothing. Am I that boring that I can't think of anything to do with myself except worry. Sigh.

         I want you to know that I'm very much satisfied with God, but I want to reach a higher level with Him. He's the only One who listens to me right now anyways. Well the only One who I tell what's really in my head and in my heart. I cry often before i go to bed. I don't know why, I just do. I have a lot of tears, this is what I have realized. It feels good to let it all out. I want to scream as loud as I can but I'll just wake my sister up. But on a brighter note, I've been reading God's love letter for me everyday since this year started. I'm reading Leviticus now and it's all about laws and regulations. It sounds so redundant cause you read it over and over again. I've learned so much of the Jewish culture back in Moses' time. Did you know that God killed Aaron's two sons because they didn't offer the sacrifices the right way. 

         What else do I want to write. Maybe nothing. Maybe I don't have to write anything. It's not like I do anyways, and when i blog it's not like i make sense or post anything that of my own production. I like writing about nothing, make sense?. If you're reading this. Don't tell me you read it. I wouldn't know anyways. I don't think I want to know if you've read it or nor cause I don't think this is important to any of you, either that, or I'm just too embarrassed to admit that I actually blogged something so lame. I mean the part where it was all about me. Cause it's not all about me, I sometimes wish it was, cause I act like it. But it's not. And my only goal in life is to finish this race God has set before me, which is not about me.

        Is it just me or do I seem very confusing? I have a lot of things in my head. Most probably about the past and the future, that's what worries me. What if my past haunts me? What if my future never comes? Jj and I almost got into an accident, stupid left turns! I hate accidents. I lost my thougths when Jj joked about having a girlfriend. I flipped! Of course it wasn't true but it almost cost an injury or insurance fee increase. Am I a little too protective of him? He's 14, I started dating when I was 13. not really dating, more like "Saudi Arabia" dating. But Jj said that he won't have a girlfriend until he's 20. I'll be praying for it. HARD! hehe.

        Oh yah, before I bid you good night. Our pug gave birth to 3 puppies. They are the most adorable creatures. If anyone or anyone you know is interested in buying one, ask them to call me or any of the ESTEBAN's or the Esteban's to be: kuya Estef and Dom, you can't really call Aldwyn cause he's out of town, working hard for our future.

         Good night Canada. My home and native land.